I Pulled Out Rebekah's Adoption Journal

I have a little journal that I've been writing in since we started the adoption process towards getting our baby, Rebekah. I have letters in there that I've written her and many other little trinkets and tidbits. It's been quite a while since I pulled it out to write in it. In fact, tonight I opened it and discovered that the last time I wrote in it was back in August! I just couldn't bear to write in it over the Fall holidays......it was just unbearably sad to think about holidays AGAIN without her, so I tucked it on the shelf in the nursery until tonight. It felt good to take it out and write something for her again tonight. That little journal is almost FULL! I'll be starting a second one for her soon! hahahahahaha Maybe one day this journal will help her to understand how much she was loved and wanted for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long and how she was truly meant to be a part of our family! That's one thing that I worry about with adoption. I don't ever want my child to feel unwanted and to think that just because of the circumstances that led to her being united to us in our family, she was not wanted.....oh my gosh, if she could just feel the love in my heart and know the tears that I have cried over all these years just wanting to hold her in my arms....she would know that without a doubt that she is loved beyond measure! The conditions in China that cause her to be abandoned are just a step that will bring her into our family where she will experience more love than she will ever be able to comprehend. I pray that she understand all of this one day and that the love we give her will be enough to sustain her in life and guide her footsteps into becoming a happy, fulfilled young woman! I truly want her to be happy with the life we are going to provide for her and to never feel like she is missing anything as a result of being adopted. I hope we are enough to make her feel loved and wanted and cherished!