Red Bags and Tissue Paper..........CHECK!

Well, we finally bought the 10 red gift bags and red tissue paper that we will use when we go to China. Apparently we have to give gifts to the China officials and nannies and orphanage directors, etc. It is a tradition to give gifts in red bags in China and we've put it all off for the almost 4 years that we have been waiting. With the fact that they are only "four" days away from our LID of April 5th, we decided to do some little preparations like this. We don't want to jinx ourselves, but since red bags and tissue paper are pretty abundant at Christmas time we thought it was a wise choice to get them. Now.......what do we put in them? I've heard all kinds of suggestions and have NO idea what to give these people. I have heard that many of the gifts just get shoved in closets because a lot of people tend to give perfumes, lotions, baseball caps, etc. and they don't really want that stuff anymore. Some agencies have told their clients that they prefer things like deodorants, toothpaste/toothbrushes, shampoos but that seems kind of "offensive" to me. I wouldn't like someone giving me stuff like that.......seems like it suggests, "you stink!" hahahahahahahahaha Some say give chocolates or candies....others say no. Some say give things from the area you are from, but what??? Whatever we give has to be pretty lightweight for traveling and not taking up too much space. I don't want to spend a lot if there's a chance it will just get tossed in a closet somewhere........I really don't know, but at least I have red bags and tissue paper!!!

GREAT NEWS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

Just got an email from our agency and apparently CCAA has posted on their online system that they have finished matching families through March 31, 2009!!!!! WOO HOO and THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!! They can now move on to the April folks and our dossier was logged in on April 5th, 2006. I am sitting her bawling my eyes out and shaking like a leaf! Could we be next??????? I think it might be February for us, but hey, that's ok......I can live with that! WHEW!!!!!!!!!! What wonderful news!!!!!!!!!

Done With Thanksgiving.....Now On To Another "Babyless" Christmas

Well, we made it through Thanksgiving. There are some stupid rumors circulating that a couple of agencies are saying that CCAA has finished matching and should be sending referrals. WHATEVER! They didn't send them last month at all and we are still stuck on the March 28, 2006 date. No movement in over a month and here we are approaching Christmas. As mad as it makes me, then again I am just numb inside.......no feelings at all one way or the other on this issue. Of course I want our baby, but it's like my heart has shut down and won't even think about it. I did have one little moment in the Hallmark store Friday while out shopping with my sister. She had stopped to get her haircut at the salon and I went to the Hallmark store to look around. I saw the "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments and burst into tears! Yep, standing right there in the crowd of folks at the store......I had to sneak around to the empty aisle and try to gather my composure.......geez! Anyhow......that's where things stand and have stood for over a month. No news at all coming out of China except that the CCAA has a new director (which may slow things down as we wait for HIM to his act together and settled into his position.......GEEZ!). I'm just going on with life, burying myself in work, enjoying reading some books, taking a graduate class on Word Study through UVA which has me dreaming up all kinds of new projects for myself, playing my piano, singing.........

Ladybug Quilt

Last Saturday Doug and I drove down to Halifax County, VA to go to the annual craft show. I love going to this thing every year and Doug always agrees to go with me (he's such a good sport! hahahahahaha). This year we were walking around looking at all of the handmade items and we got to this one booth and saw a handmade baby quilt with ladybugs! It is so pretty and is purple too! Oh I loved it, but I was going to pass it up, but my sweet hubby convinced me to get it because he knows how I am. If I hadn't gotten it, I would have gotten half way home and said, "I should have bought that quilt for the baby." So..........we are now the proud owners of yet another quilt for our baby Rebekah! hahahahahaha There's just something about quilts that I absolutely LOVE and this one is gorgeous! The lady that made it was just so excited about us adopting from China! She even threw in a Carebears bib and those little things that go on the newborn's hands to keep them from scratching themselves (I didn't have the heart to tell her that our baby would probably be too big for those). She even hugged me and I cried.....yep, right there in the middle of craft show! hahahahahahahahaha She teared up too! Oh well, Rebekah is going to have to get used to an overly emotional Mama! I hope she likes her ladybug quilt as much as we do and that it becomes one of her favorites! Oh, and you can see another bib that Daddy picked out for baby! I think our little girl will be spoiled rotten!

Happy Halloween (Hopefully The Last Without Baby!)

How many Halloweens have I said that before, right? hahahahahahaha Well seeing as CCAA is only 8 days away from our LID, I am ASSUMING that by next Halloween we will have a little bundle of joy all decked out in a costume and enjoying trick-or-treating each and every year. Yes, we are one of those "RARE" families that sees NOTHING wrong with having fun on Halloween. It seems that today's society has more and more people who think Halloween is some sort of evil tradition that inspires kids to be evil.....GEEZ! Whatever happened to normal people who saw Halloween for it what was supposed to be....a day to dress up, go trick-or-treating, carve Jack-o-Lanterns, etc. I'm amazed that some people can turn it into something horrible and think that it brings out "evil." I guess that's what the "political correctness" has done to our society.......well, it's stupid and since this is my blog, I can say that! hahahahaha
Anyhow, my sister and I have this tradition where we send each other a goody box every year because we always had so much fun on Halloween! I got my package from her today with cute cat bumper stickers, a magnet that has a "spell book" on it,and a bag of my favorite Mounds candy!!!!! YUM YUM! I love the bumper sticker that says, "My cat is smarter than your honor student." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA My sister loves her cats just like I love mine!
Doug and I carved our pumpkin today and sat it outside tonight. Oh it is so cute!!! I also got a cute picture of my handsome hubby in front of our house after he had carried the pumpkin out. I love him so much!!! I can't wait to see him as a Daddy!!!!!

Beautiful Baby Afghan From My Friend Mandi

Today, I got a wonderful hand-made baby afghan from a dear friend, Mandi. We both share a love of crafts and this was such a sweet surprise! It is a plum color and VERY soft. I absolutely LOVE it and yes, it made me cry! I am so touched because I know how much work went into it and because I think that gifts you make for someone with your own two hands are just so full of love because they take time to create. Thanks Mandi, you're such a sweet friend! I can't wait to see our baby, Rebekah, enjoying it!!!!

Still Hanging In There!

This week I have been off on Fall Break. I had the chance to go through some of the adoption stuff and also through the baby's room. Today I cleaned out the nursery closet and organized it. I also found a baby quilt that I started making and never finished as well as some fabric that I have for making a couple of taggy blankets (one to send over to the baby in a care package once we get the referral.) Anyhow....nothing to report. We had hoped to have her referral BEFORE Christmas, but I think it might be in January or February which means we will need to renew our fingerprints AGAIN since they expire in February. Oh well.....what can we do???? Nothing except hang in there. They are only 8 days away from our LID......come on China and get to us! Included are some pictures of Doug and I from last weekend when we went to a friend's wedding at Castle McCulloch in Jamestown, NC. It was a beautiful wedding, but a cold and drizzly Fall day.....thus my hair is flat! hahahaha

I Love This Quote

I just found this quote on a website I was looking at tonight......I NEEDED this!

Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”
-Margaret Nadauld

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, once AGAIN the stupid rumors were FALSE! The CCAA did NOT get through March 29th nor did they finish up the month of March! WHEN WILL I LEARN NOT TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING ON THE RUMOR QUEEN??????????????????? They only made it through March 28th. Yes, we moved up 3 more days, but my heart sure was hoping it would be more! The 29th is a huge batch according to poll results so I am thinking they will only do that ONE day next time. Oh well..........

HOW FAR DID CCAA GET THIS MONTH??????????

Well, we are on pins and needles waiting to hear how far CCAA got this time with referrals. We have heard the rumors that they may have gotten finished through the March 29th and maybe even finished the whole month of March. THAT would be such a wonderful thing if they did! Then we could possibly get OUR referral next time! So.......we're saying those prayers and keeping fingers crossed.....come on CCAA!!!!!
It is so cool to think that CCAA will be picking up OUR DOSSIER and will be matching us with OUR baby! Oh my gosh, I get goosebumps and have tears in my eyes just thinking about it! We are soooooooooooooooooo close!!!!!!!!!

A Letter To Our Baby (On 3 and 1/2 Year LID-iversary)

Dearest Rebekah,
As I sit here on this day and wonder how much longer it will be before we see your face in a referral and then how much longer until we HOLD you, my heart is so full of love for you. You will never understand how much I love you until you have a child of your own. This whole adoption journey has been one that has not been the easiest, but I KNOW in my heart that you are meant to be our little girl. I can feel your spirit pulling us to China. I know that you are longing for a mommy and Daddy to hold you and love you, just as we are longing for a baby girl to love us and give us toothless grins and sweet giggles. We need each other my darling and one day (hopefully soon) our innermost desires and heartfelt prayers will be answered. The day WILL come when we will walk into a room and have our names called. And as we step forward, we will see your sweet face and feel you placed in our arms FOREVER! Oh my gosh, I'm sure you will cry and be frightened at first, but we will hold you close and speak words of love in your ear. We will rock you and comfort you, and in time you will come to know the love of two parents and come to trust us to take care of you. Of course we will make mistakes and I hope you will be patient with us as we learn to be parents and we promise to be patient with you as you learn what it means to be part of our family........our little baby! I can't wait to bathe you and put lotion and powder on you to comfort you. I hope you like the smell of Johnson's Baby Lotion......sometimes I go in your room now and open the bottle and put a little on my hands, just to savor the smell and to know that one day YOU will smell like that! Yes, you have a very silly Mommy! I also look through the little clothes and outfits that hang in your closet and are in your drawers and I picture your little arms and legs being in those things. I look at the hairbows and ribbons and picture your beautiful hair adorned with those things. Oh my goodness......let's hope you like those frilly things (unlike your Aunt Stacey....hahahahahahahaha). I just had another thought.......what if we're in for a big surprise and our referral is for a boy?????????????? Oh my, we have a LOT of things to change in your room if that is the case, and instead of the letter being for Rebekah, it will have to be for Cameron MacClayne.....hahahahahaha That's always a possibility, but I just feel deep in my heart that YOU will be a little girl....OUR little girl that I have dreamed and prayed for ALL OF MY LIFE! That's right Rebekah, I have wanted to be a mother to a little girl for as long as I can remember. All those years of having baby dolls and dreaming of the one day when I would have a REAL baby in my arms have prepared me to be YOUR mommy. The tender feelings deep in a mother's heart are so special and so hard to put into words. I cannot describe them and every time I do, the words are so inadequate to even compare to what I am feeling when I think of you. How do you describe love?????? I don't think you truly can sweetie, but I promise to SHOW you love and I hope that you will love me back. I hope that I will be the kind of mommy that you will always be able to talk to and to share your thoughts and feelings with. I'm sure there will be times when I will have discipline you and I promise you now that I will always discipline with love in my heart. I want you to always know that I love you and want the best for you in life. I want you to grow up believing in yourself and enjoying the beauties of life. I want to explore and learn and become the best person you can be in life. And during all those year, I promise to always be there for you; cheering you along. I will be your biggest fan and will find joy in YOUR joy. I will share your pain and disappointments in life; for life is full of those too. But even in tough times, you can find reassurance in my love for you. I pray that you will grow up knowing that we all have a loving Heavenly Father who is never far from us. I hope you find comfort in prayer and that you will develop a strong testimony of the Gospel. I pray that you will try to make righteous choices in life and when you make mistakes, you will repent and learn from them. We all have to do that too. No one is perfect baby girl. Oh my goodness, I just love you so much already and you're not even in our arms yet. And while I'm talking about the love I will have for you, let me just mention your Daddy.........you are going to LOVE your Daddy. He is so loving and funny and just a great guy. He wants to be your Daddy so badly! We talk about you and what it will be like once we have you with us. His eyes just light up when he talks about being your Daddy. I hope you will know how much you are wanted by both of us! You are going to be so spoiled! hahahahahahaha Well, I guess I should close out this rather lengthy and emotional letter. Yes, I have cried as I typed this to you today, but that's ok, you'll learn that your mommy is a very very very emotional person.....get used to the tears! Take care my sweet little one......you are FOREVER in my heart; tucked in there so lovingly; protected until the joyous day when you will be tucked in my arms and loved and protected FOREVER. I pray that you are safe, and warm, and that someone is holding you when you cry, until we can do that ourselves. Sending you my love baby girl!
Love,
Mommy (and Daddy)

Our Last Visit To The Halifax County Fair Without Baby

Tonight Doug and I went to the Halifax County, VA Fair. I grew up going to this fair EVERY year of my life and as we walked around we couldn't help but think that next year, we will be pushing a stroller with our little baby! YAY! I hope she likes it as much as her Mommy always has. We rode the Ferris Wheel (one of my all-time favorites) and the Tilt-A-Whirl (another favorite). We ran into my brother, Tony and his wife and kids. What fun! My little niece (1 year old)was able to pick up a duck and win a stuffed duck! We saw the country music performer, Chuck Wicks, in concert. It was a fun night!

Today Is My Birthday

Will this be the last birthday that I celebrate without our baby? Good golly I hope so! I would seriously hope that next year she will be here with us. Of course with China you just NEVER know.....hahahahahahaha
It has been a rainy birthday, but tomorrow the sun is supposed to come out. I guess you have to experience the rainy days to really appreciate the sunny ones, right? Kind of the same thing with the adoption......you have to experience the horrible, torturous, never-ending pain of the wait so that when that day comes where we are handed our precious little one, we will TRULY appreciate it! I just REALLY hope we at least get our referral before Christmas....it would be great if we traveled before then, but I will be happy to at least know who our baby is and to have that little face in my head.........something to hold on to over the holidays....oh well...what will happen will happen and nothing that I say or want will change that. Anyway....happen birthday to me, right?

STILL Waiting To Hear How Far They Got This Month.....

The rumors are still circulating around online in the adoption community that China has matched THROUGH (including) March 29th, 2006. This would be great news if we were now hearing from people WITH referrals.....what is taking them so long to release the referrals?????? Oh well.....nothing we can do but wait.
Tomorrow is my birthday.....I will be 42.....wow, I somehow thought I'd be a mom before now.......well I'm not, but hopefully it won't be much longer before I am. I was in Walmart yesterday just wasting some time and thought I'd make a visit to the baby section of the store. It was kind of comforting and reassuring to walk amongst the baby clothes, bottles, diapers, etc. and know that in a few more months I'll have a real reason to be over there in that section. I must admit though that I have NO idea what kind of bottles to buy when we get our baby.....I stood there looking at them and thinking, "Which one is the best????" I have no clue! And then I confused myself even more when I wondered over to look at the baby food.....geez, how do you know what to feed them at which time? I picked up a box of the rice cereal and thought, "What do I do with THIS??????" hahahahahahahahahahaha It sounds funny, but seriously, how do moms know WHAT to feed their babies and at what ages?????????? It confuses the heck out of me! My poor kid! Do moms just KNOW this stuff naturally or is there some great MOM GURU that they turn to?????? I'd love to hear your thoughts and "insider information" on this one! hahahahaha

Rumors Flying Around

Well the rumors are flying around that CCAA got through March 29th and maybe even finished all of March. That would be a complete miracle and although it is exciting to think that maybe they got that far, I've learned in this horrible waiting game that you can't get your hopes up too much. So I will sit here and dream about them being true but until I OFFICIALLY see it, then I'm not going to pin too much on it happening.
We have been preparing some more around the house for the baby's arrival (eventually). We got new front-load washer and dryer set which arrived this past week. We've actually been DYING to wash laundry in the things because they are so cool! hahahahahahahahahahaha Our new sofa and ottoman should arrive on Saturday (my birthday) so it's pretty exciting getting the new stuff and doing some "nesting" as we anticipate our baby becoming a reality. I hope it will happen BEFORE Christmas!!!!!

Daddy-To-Be's Birthday Today 09/09/09

Cool date to have a birthday! Yep, today was Doug's birthday and he got lots of goodies. His cake was decorated with two panda bears since this will HOPEFULLY be the last one before he officially becomes a Daddy to our little Rebekah! I hope he had a great time and enjoyed his gifts. He is going to make a wonderful Daddy for Rebekah and we BOTH look forward to share holidays and birthdays with our baby girl soon. Until then, we keep plugging along and hanging on to our hopes and dreams!

FURNITURE SHOPPING! WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, today was the best day! Doug and I were talking and made the decision to purchase some new furniture for our den downstairs......oh my gosh, we have been putting that off for YEARS! So we went looking at 3 different furniture stores and finally found EXACTLY what we wanted! At first we were just simply going to get a new sofa. But they had some good deals so we got a sofa and HUGE ottoman and then we went to another store and bought a rocker/recliner!!!! Woohoo! I had been wanting one before we got the baby for those nights when we have to rock her to sleep or when she's sick and won't sleep. Oh yeah......planning ahead! Oh it is sooooooooooo cozy! Our sofa is going to be a little longer than the one we have now and it is also really comfy! I LOVE the huge ottoman too! How exciting to be getting things done and getting new furniture. I think I am going to move the glider rocker that is in the den now, to the nursery and put the new cushions in it that I had made for the other rocker. I guess the other wooden rocker will also go in the den. It doesn't rock very well in the nursery because of the carpet (which I didn't think about beforehand! hahahahahaha) I also need to go through the nursery closet and take out all of my craft/scrapbooking supplies and put those away in the garage. I also need to take all of the 100 Wishes Fabric squares to the place that is going to make her quilt. LOTS of PLANS!!!!! Come on CCAA and match us with our baby!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!

LID-iversary #41.......Still Waiting........

Well, what can I say at this point that I haven't said for the past 41 months????? There's no point griping about it.......that does no good......so let's move on......
Today Doug and I drove down to Greensboro and spent the day just browsing around down there at baby stores and then out to eat at Cracker Barrel. We bought a little denim jumper with pink flowers on it at the Osh Kosh store. Cute little things in there but I try not to buy too many clothes because we don't know what size our baby will be yet. When I do break down and buy little things I get them in 12 month or 18 months so she will hopefully be smaller and be able to grow into them one day. That little jumper was just too adorable to pass up and she can wear it with either a short sleeved or long-sleeved shirt.
Anyhow, then we went to Baby's R Us where I saw the little Pooh bear dressed up as Piglet. It was just too adorable to pass up. We also got 2 thermal receiving blankets because we have figured out that it will probably be Fall or Winter when we get her (THANK GOD it won't be the summertime!). Then we found a good sale on the onesies. They were on clearance and if you bought one pack, you got the other pack for only a dollar!!!!!! WOW! Couldn't pass that up, so I bought one pack in 12 months and the other pack in 18 months!
Overall, it has been a great day. Loved spending time with my hubby and the weather was BEAUTIFUL! We listened to music, talked, sang (well, I SANG) all the way down and back. Oh, we also stopped by this cake shop down in Greensboro and ate REALLY good cake. The place is called "Maxie-B's" and they have all these cakes and you pick the one you want to try and they cut a HUGE slice for you. I tried the Chocolate Sin cake and Doug got the strawberry cake with butter creme frosting....oh yea....FRESH strawberries in the layers.....yep, my fork traveled across the table a couple of times!!!! hahahahahahahaha

Making Some More Preparations.......

Well today I contacted our Human Resources department at work to find out what all I need to do to prepare things as we get closer to referral time. I have NO idea how maternity leave works and how you go about getting ready for a long-term substitute teacher, so these are some preliminary inquiries about all of that. I want to make sure that I get a sub who will not just keep the kids busy, but will TEACH the material that needs to be covered while I am absent. They don't need a babysitter....they need a teacher those weeks. Anyhow, a few people are supposed to contact me about all of this and I must admit it makes it feel a little more "real" when you start looking at the logistics of it all. We still have NO idea when we will get a referral. We're hoping it will be before Christmas.......we'd sure love to have our little bundle of joy to celebrate the holidays with this year! We're praying that all of that happens. I guess I also need to contact the pediatrician's office and sit down with the doctor for a preliminary visit. I want to make sure that when we are in China, he/she will be available should we need to call or email questions. I also want to make sure that he/she is familiar with the problems/concerns associated with internationally adopted children. We also need to buy those gifts that we have take to give all of the "officials" in China. We talked about looking for some of that stuff this weekend. Everyone keep praying and sending positive wishes our way! Thanks!

2 More Days Done

Well, I guess the rumors were true. Looks like China only matched 2 more days of LID's this past month......geez! Oh well.....nothing I can do about it right? So we are two days closer......10 more days to get to ours. We visited with our friends, Tonja and Robby yesterday and got to see their baby Marissa. She is a cutie and it really helps us to stay positive about our adoption.....knowing that one day it will be our turn and we WILL hold our baby in our arms just like they are holding their sweet girl in theirs. So.......we continue.....

Two Days AGAIN???????? I hope it's more!

Well yesterday the illustrious Rumor Queen posted on her website that rumors are milling around in the adoption world that China has done March 23rd and 24th....no rumors about any more days......so here we sit disappointed again but HOPING beyond hope that China did more than just another stupid 2 day batch of referrals! I had my big meltdown yesterday and cried my eyes out.........this is just our reality. What breaks my heart is the thought that we might have ANOTHER Christmas with no baby! I just can't take that again! Keep praying that more days are included this time and not just the measily two days that are rumored.