Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Do They Think We Are Stupid????

Ok, I just had to come on MY blog and vent for a moment.....since it's my blog, I can write honestly and openly how I feel and if others don't agree with it....well, they can voice their own opinions and thoughts on THEIR blog....so here goes......there are "some sources" online which I will not even dignify by naming them, but they share "rumors" with all of us desperate people who are STILL waiting to adopt and every single month they share some far-fetched rumor that China is going to speed up! OH MY GOSH! I have been disappointed month after month, year after year........because I have been gullible enough and desperate enough to believe these untruths.....like this past month when the rumor was, "oh China is going to get well into the month of March, maybe even through to the 27th," and then the referral cutoff dates are announced and they only got through March 2nd (TWO PATHETIC DAYS!) and we were heartbroken and discouraged once again! Well guess what? The perpetual false-hope rumors are going again.......geez, do they think we are stupid????????? There is NO WAY on God's green Earth I am going to fall for this EVER again! So.........the rumor mill is stupid! It's NEVER going to speed up and I am so glad that I have wised up and don't let my hopes get up anymore. The nursery door is SHUT, no preparations are being made, and when the cutoffs for this month are posted and they only do 1 or 2 days, I will be glad that for once, I didn't let anyone get to my heart this time. It's sad for those who will be heartbroken and I hope the rumor-mungers (who by the way already HAVE their children home from China) will be proud of themselves for causing unnecessary hurt to others, but I won't be one of them so THERE!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

How Do You Take Care Of A Child When YOU'RE Sick????

I have been wondering about this today and I have laid in bed ALL day long suffering with bronchitis, coughing spells that feel like I'm going to cough up a lung, sore throat, fluid behind my ears, and just feeling FUNKY! How am I going to take care of a baby if I get sick like this???? Right now I just feel HORRIBLE! I can't hardly walk from one room to the other without feeling like I'm going to hit the floor. How do people do it?????? Right now I can be stingy and selfish and just take care of myself, but I'm not going to be able to do that once I'm a mom........hubby just came in and said, "I guess this would be one of those days when Daddy takes care of baby." OH THANK GOD, I will be able to be selfish!!! hahahahahahahahahaha

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Please Say The Rumors Aren't True!

Well, there is a small rumor milling around in "adoption-land" that China only matched ONE day (March 3rd). Oh gosh, please say this isn't true! They only did two days last time and I thought that was bad! I have a couple of friends online who have LID's of March 3rd and of course I will be thrilled for THEM, but come on CCAA.....you just have to do more than 1 day!

Friday, February 06, 2009

I-171H Renewed

Well, we're good for a few more months......we got our renewed I171H today and so we are good until July 27, 2010! Gosh, do you think we'll have our baby by THEN?????? This is the THIRD one we've gotten!

Oh and our LID-iversary was yesterday.....we didn't even celebrate. 34 Months and still waiting.

Monday, February 02, 2009

I Pulled Out Rebekah's Adoption Journal

I have a little journal that I've been writing in since we started the adoption process towards getting our baby, Rebekah. I have letters in there that I've written her and many other little trinkets and tidbits. It's been quite a while since I pulled it out to write in it. In fact, tonight I opened it and discovered that the last time I wrote in it was back in August! I just couldn't bear to write in it over the Fall holidays......it was just unbearably sad to think about holidays AGAIN without her, so I tucked it on the shelf in the nursery until tonight. It felt good to take it out and write something for her again tonight. That little journal is almost FULL! I'll be starting a second one for her soon! hahahahahaha Maybe one day this journal will help her to understand how much she was loved and wanted for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long and how she was truly meant to be a part of our family! That's one thing that I worry about with adoption. I don't ever want my child to feel unwanted and to think that just because of the circumstances that led to her being united to us in our family, she was not wanted.....oh my gosh, if she could just feel the love in my heart and know the tears that I have cried over all these years just wanting to hold her in my arms....she would know that without a doubt that she is loved beyond measure! The conditions in China that cause her to be abandoned are just a step that will bring her into our family where she will experience more love than she will ever be able to comprehend. I pray that she understand all of this one day and that the love we give her will be enough to sustain her in life and guide her footsteps into becoming a happy, fulfilled young woman! I truly want her to be happy with the life we are going to provide for her and to never feel like she is missing anything as a result of being adopted. I hope we are enough to make her feel loved and wanted and cherished!